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Arches is a new book from Bibliotek Press by Ameli Orei that has just hit Amazon, and we are thrilled about it. This book glorifies waiting until the wedding night for the delights of godly procreation. Finally, a work of erotica good Christians can enjoy! Here, Biblical Manhood, Womanhood and Marriage interviews author Ameli Orei, who by all appearances is a nice Catholic girl just like her protagonist Marie.
BMWAM: Tell us about how your book promotes saving sex for marriage.
AO: Well, the protagonist is a virgin for the first few chapters, and she does, in fact, save herself for marriage. But that doesn’t turn out so well for her.
BMWAM: Of course it does! Sex is designed for marriage, so it will always be good in marriage.
AO: Did you actually read the book?
BMWAM: I got to where she gets married, and then I stopped, because I don’t go snooping on the marriage bed of other people.
AO: Well, she gets divorced, partly because the sex is bad. Not just bad, but non-existent. Her husband doesn’t want sex with her.
BMWAM: That’s impossible. Men want sex way more than women.
AO: Not if the men are gay, and they’re married to women.
BMWAM: I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, because I don’t believe gay people exist.
AO: Do you actually want to talk about my book, or do you want to argue about sexuality?
BMWAM: Well, since you mentioned it, what are your thoughts on sexuality?
AO: My work is greatly influenced by my own sexuality. I don’t just mean sex, either. I mean that as an evolved adult, I have something deep and expansive within me, something I can share with the right people — even if we don’t actually have sex. I’ve said this before, but I think spending awhile not having sex can be a very powerful experience. That comes into my novel, and so does the sex itself. Sex can be amazing, or, if you’re not connected physically, spiritually or emotionally, it can be really terrible. I wanted to write something that took all of that into consideration. The full reality of sex, especially sex in the modern world.
BMWAM: Exactly! You have to wait until marriage. I couldn’t have put it better myself.
AO: Well, that’s not the conclusion I reached, but if it worked for you, I applaud you.
BMWAM: My husband is great in bed. He washes me daily with his blessed tongue.
AO: Glad to hear it. People need good sex in their lives.
BMWAM: Now, for the real artistic test. Is this book chiastic, like poetry in the Bible?
AO: Of course.
BMWAM: I’m just a little concerned about this book cover, though. Is it really necessary to show a naked person?
AO: I wanted something that matched the feeling of the book itself. Something artistic and symbolic. I love the curves of that photo. I love what it represents to me.
BMWAM: Does it represent Christ on the Cross?
AO: No, it’s me. I posed for the cover shot. Like I said, my sexuality informs my art, and my art isn’t just textual — it’s also visual.
BMWAM: You posed naked for the world to see. That wasn’t very smart. You’re not having sex out of wedlock, now, are you? If you are, we will have to delete this interview.
AO: I’m single right now, so no.
BMWAM: Wonderful! Just one more question: is your name really Ameli Orei, or is that a pseudonym?
AO: It’s not my real name. But these answers are real.
BMWAM: So why aren’t you using your real name?
AO: Why aren’t you?
BMWAM: I don’t think it’s modest to seek fame.
AO: Neither do I. At least not for writing erotica.
If you are having a problem with petty arguments in the marriage, then you probably aren’t dwelling together as God intended. Remember, men are told to honor their wives as the “weaker vessels.” 1 Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel.” Yet wives are supposed to be useful as well, according to Proverbs 31. They are not to sit around collecting dust like decorative vases. What is the defining characteristic of a useful fragile vessel? Being gently filled with something. 1 Peter 3:7 makes it very clear that husbands are to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, the same word that is used for sex in the Bible. But this is no call to roughly bed your wife. Remember, “gently” is key. Use your most gentle tool, your tongue, to minister to the weaker vessel. Fill her as full of this gentle tool as she desires. She can become most useful only when she is thus filled and ministered to, because The Lord designed her that way! You will need to wash her daily if she is to be used daily as a weaker vessel.
You will soon discover that if you fill and wash her properly, truly honoring her body as the vase-shaped vessel it is, she will respond positively and begin to respect your male prowess — assuming you have it, of course. If you are an inadequate lover, we suggest you remedy this immediately. To put it quite bluntly, you are sinning if you are not giving your wife regular orgasms by your washings with the word.
Over time, your wife may become so exhausted and thankful from these orgasmic experiences that she will have no need to take up petty quarrels with you. In our experience, women spend time nit-picking when they are feeling ignored and unloved. A happy woman never nit-picks, and women who are properly cared for by their husbands are happy.
If you want Christ’s teaching to transform your marriage, here is something for you to consider: you may be interpreting Christ’s teachings on marriage all wrong. Especially if you’re looking towards something that establishes proper gender roles, but in a way that can bruise a wife’s body and heart rather than presenting her “unblemished.”
Fortunately, we are here to walk you through the Christian teachings that transformed our marriage from the bottom up. Literally.
You see, prior to following these teachings, our marriage was in disarray. I felt neglected by my husband, and he was frustrated because his masculine nature was not being satisfied. My husband is not just a man, he is a commander of men. He is a muscular, bronzed, calloused, high-energy male who runs his own business and simultaneously works with his hands. And yet at home, he felt that something was missing, as did I. Where we should have been hot and fiery, we were lukewarm. Where we should have been harmonious, we were contentious.
One day, my husband approached me and said “honey, there’s something I’d like to try to improve how things have been going. I have been reading in Ephesians, and I’ve got an idea.”
My husband read me several verses I knew very well from Ephesians 5: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”
My husband explained to me that he had had what he suspected might be a divine revelation about this passage. He focused in on details that I had previously ignored. “I’ve always wondered what head meant in this context, but I think it might have something to do with the slang ‘giving head,’” he said. “At first I thought, well, maybe that means she’s supposed to be giving me blow jobs. But if you read a little further, it’s obviously not talking about blow jobs. The husband is the one loving the wife in this context, and she is to submit to him as the savior of her body. He is to sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. What does that mean? I used to think it meant husbands were supposed to read their wives words from the Bible, but that’s not very literal, is it? I think God intended for the Bible to be taken literally, especially in the King James version, and the most literal meaning of ‘washing of water by the word’ that I can think of is a good tongue-bath. The Bible is not very watery, is it? But a man’s tongue is for sure.”
My husband went on to explain that for a man to love his wife as his own body would mean he would give her everything he desired from her, and a big part of that would be oral sex.
“I think the Lord is telling me to improve our marriage by giving your lady parts a spiritual experience,” my husband concluded.
I was skeptical and a bit nervous of this. “Wouldn’t it just be easier if I baked you a pie or something?” I asked.
“Are you trying to emasculate me?” my husband asked. “Desert makes men fat, and fat produces estrogen.” He was so insistent that I soon found myself lying face-up on our bed. My husband got into position, and he told me that I should relax and focus on being healed, cleansed and sanctified by his washings of water by the word. “You have no spot or wrinkle or blemish in my sight,” he said. “I present you to myself as my glorious bride.”
I was irritated at first by his rough whiskers and the oddness of the arrangement, but then I began gradually to submit to his headship. I decided to meditate on his words and on his sanctifying love for a good half an hour, until I had the most blissful experience of my life.
This became a daily ritual, and eventually the release and the wonder I felt wrung tears from me. As a woman who had internalized various rants on modesty and purity over the years, I realized all the shame I had been carrying about my body. Truly, my husband was loving my body as he loved his own, and truly, he found me beautiful. Once I experienced this deep thing with him, our marriage began to improve almost instantly. I no longer felt neglected, and his raw masculine power had found an appropriate, Biblical outlet. He led me to heights I never knew existed.
Looking to the Bible
With the new view I had on Ephesians 5, I began to look at other verses differently as well. There was just so much in the Bible about this act!
1 Corinthians 7:3 talks about sex acts and says “Let the husband render to the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife to the husband.” What is more benevolent than oral sex in the marriage relationship? Pretty much nothing! After my husband showed me the glories of oral, I began to return the favor.
I particularly love Song of Solomon 4:16: “Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.” I’m not sure how much more explicit you can get than going south to blow on someone’s garden and eat its pleasant fruits.
The question of technique may come up, and the Bible has an answer for that as well, from 1 Corinthians 13: “love is patient, love is kind.” A husband must be patient when he is washing his wife with water by the word. And he must be kind. Love, according to this passage, is not boastful, rude, selfish or jealous. In other words, a man must enact his love to his wife in a way that is not boastful, rude, selfish or jealous. He should not focus on any past thing that would make him jealous, and he should conduct himself in all humility and sweetness.
This is not to say that he may not be passionate. I have never seen anything more passionate than my husband in the depths of one of his washings. He is ecstatic to be doing it. He adores the fact that I am a woman and he adores making me feel awakened in that way. As Proverbs 5 says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” I never knew what that verse really meant, or what a man in the depths of love intoxication looked like, until I saw my husband drown himself in my secret parts.
Oral sex has a strong stigma in some women’s minds because it is so severely intimate. But remember the natural order of things in the Garden of Eden, from Genesis 2:25: “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” There is nothing to be ashamed of when you are man and wife.
You should meditate on these precious verses and see what a difference they can make in your marriage!