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Letter From Doug Wilson

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Dear Fans and Anonymous Sycophants,

Just to clarify this blog post I wrote, since I am prone to using lots of words in an attempt to win arguments by exhausting people: Some of you may know that a woman has been saying that I mishandled her abuse case ten years ago, by siding with her abuser and making her and her family look bad to the church and the court. This is a lie. I will prove it now by making her look as bad as possible. The reasons this woman is wicked (and thus cannot be trusted) are as follows:

  1. She once moved to Portland. There are gay people and transgender people in Portland.
  2. Her husband once appeared naked in artistic videos that he dispersed years ago to a very limited audience. I will prove how evil a person must be to submit these videos for public viewing by stealing the videos and linking to them for your perusal.
  3. Remember: Only the worst people on the planet ever create art featuring nudity. Da Vinci? Da Devil.
  4. This Daughter of Portlandia has done other bad things, which I can’t prove because she’s such a liar that she’s erased all traces of them.
  5. She left my church and is saying naughty things about my church.
  6. Thus she obviously does not worship the same god I do (aka me). This is the most damning thing of all.

Sincerely,

The High Priest of The One True Church,

Expert in Justice,

Expert in Rhetoric,

Persecuted by A Cloud of People Who Disagree With His Amazing Words Only Because They Are Vile Sinners In Need The Forgiving Grace of His Church,

Douglas Wilson

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3 Comments

  1. danascully says:

    If I didn’t know better, I’d say this garbage was a work of satire. Looks like the great and powerful Oz is just a sad little man behind a curtain after all.

  2. Howl says:

    Thank you. Just, thank you. As I read the first paragraph, I thought these were Doug Wilson’s own words, because “Just to clarify this blog post I wrote, since I am prone to using lots of words in an attempt to win arguments by exhausting people” sounds exactly like Mr. Wilson. Anyway, thanks for this satirical letter, neatly summarizing Doug Wilson’s essential depravity and cynicism, and making me laugh heartily. Also, I’m convicted that you should write something Doug-centric for the Bulwer-Lytton writing contest!

  3. […] Here’s a great summary of Doug’s bizarre and logically questionable hack job against Natalie’s husband Wesley from the good folks at Biblical Sex. […]

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