Biblical Manhood, Womanhood and Marriage

Home » Marital sin » How to be a godly skank (for your husband) and totally modest (for everyone else)

How to be a godly skank (for your husband) and totally modest (for everyone else)

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Today, my husband came home from his manly outdoor pursuits, smelling of sweat and damp spandex. He found me where I belong, in the kitchen making him a nutritious, low-budget, and tasty dinner: split pea soup flavored with meat carved from the hindquarters of the deer he shot for us. He grunted his approval at my outfit, a curve-hugging sleeveless dress with violently red details. “Hey, you stud,” I said, hopping up on the counter and striking a pose. “What would you like for me to serve you right now? Are you hungry?”

Now, I only relate this scene in the spirit of Titus 2, whereby older women are instructed to tell younger women how to be good housewives. I am 45 years old, and have had seven children, and yet I keep myself fit by working with a jade egg while I do housework all day. Due to my fitness routine, I am hotter than most movie stars and probably better at being seductive than your average prostitute.

I goes without saying that this scene, and similar, more steamy ones, should NOT take place anywhere but safe in the confines of your own home. Elsewhere, you should conduct yourself with a meek and quiet spirit, adorning yourself in the knowledge that it is your fault if any man lusts after you due to your appearance.

The trick of it is, this documentary proves that men lust after most female things, even if they are dressed in tents. I like to err on the side of caution, though, so I wear a paper bag over my head in public if I absolutely must go out. Most men do not lust after paper bags. In fact, they are repulsed by the sight of one walking through the grocery store, if their expressions are any proof.

A modest skank in the kitchen

A modest skank in the kitchen

I show you this photo here because I think it will help illustrate something that has gone unchecked for far too long. This is an area where many women have strayed, thinking incorrectly that they were being keepers at home all the while: they post photos of themselves on their blogs, even creating long photo essays devoted to showing themselves dressed in “modest” attire. Do you not know that such activities are vain, tending to vaunt up the spirit of a woman and putting temptation in the paths of men worldwide? You do not know what will cause different men to stumble. The female face is a great tempter, and it must be cloaked, hidden from the prying eyes of the internet millions.

More, women must avoid the temptation to seek fame through blogging, even blogging about godly pursuits. The moment you put your name and your face onto a website, you are asking to be recognized. Women are NOT to seek such things if they are truly being meek, quiet keepers at home. This is why you will never see my name here. I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit that putting forth my name for recognition would be a grave sin against my husband and my God. Of course, once again, I must exhort younger women in the spirit of Titus 2, so I can blog — that is fine — so long as I do it without being a fame-whore, and all under the direction of my wonderful and bliss-making husband.

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